Release Date: April 6th, 2021
Rating: ★★★★☆
Review:
“Maybe I was never supposed to have my own opinion. And now I’m being punished for it.”
For me this book was a little mix of brilliant and frustrating. I’ve thought about this whole story a good deal and while it was frustrating that characterization and some of the world building fell short, with much of the focus going on the overarching theme, it was honestly, equally brilliant. The author wove everything together to create a narrative that perfectly reflects the idea “do our choices really matter”, which was pretty masterful. For me, the better aspects won out over what might’ve been missing here or there.
The book discussed plenty of other moral issues and there was a fair bit of virtue signaling that I could’ve done without but this one idea was done spectacularly, at least in how I see it. Of course I can be totally wrong about the author’s intent, after all I’m not the one who wrote the book. Taking a look back though and trying to see how everything came together, this central idea seems to fit best. Unfortunately, I can’t say exactly how because it has to do with the twist (so too many spoilers) but, in general, the whole book shows Nami as a character who believes she understands the morally better choice. However, she grapples with what to do when her choice conflicts with what others believe to be the “right choice” in their fight to end the war with the Residents. She struggles in her desire to find a moral grey middle, where she doesn’t have to choose sides and everyone can coexist but feels forced into a corner, both by circumstances and those around her. Ironically, both sides are after the same goal, the problem is they go about achieving that goal in ways that seem to make no room for a middle ground. On one side Nami is a Hero, helping a resistance to end the war. Nearing the end, however, Nami is confronted with another perspective which forces her to deal with the reality that she may not be the hero she was propped up to be, perpetuating a war she didn’t even want to play a part in through the choices she’s made and the choices of others.
It really is brilliant writing to be able to show your heroine as the villain and your villain as somewhat of a hero through the different perspectives. This unfolding narrative of both sides wanting the same end and yet which side is using the right means? Which side holds the truth? Or is it neither? That is what really holds the book together. The author brings up a lot of good, morally relevant questions. Hard part is many don’t have answers if you don’t believe in absolute truth. You just do what Nami does and tailspin through your existence, questioning everything, even sense of self. I can get how Nami might’ve been an annoying character to some, with her constant harping on her sister and need to prove she was right, but it made sense in the narrative. Nami was on a quest to prove that one life is worth the sacrifice because it’s what she died for after all. Proving that meant something to her. If one life could be sacrificed for the sake of the many than what was the purpose of her death? Of her making that choice? Truly this book makes you think, a lot.
The fantasy elements sort of float on the periphery of this philosophy center. They’re beautiful elements too and in a way it’s a shame they don’t take more focus. I enjoyed reading about Nami’s moments of trying to learn the new, somewhat magical, skills she needed in Infinity and her continual curiosity towards the fantastic elements in her afterlife existence. Those parts of the book helped to lighten the story a bit from some of the weightier material. As much as I can enjoy a book that has deep themes and takes a swing at tackling harder subjects, sometimes I think the beauty of messages in a book is in the subtext, in not being so overt about it and weaving it into the subtleties. The twist really accomplished that, it made me want to go back and reread everything I had just read. That’s why I think some of the rest of the morality focused dialogue may not have been needed because that broader idea of personal responsibility and “who’s really the monster” became clearer through the simple unfolding of the story.
While I get that there’s probably a lot of subtext going on with the romance plot in the story and my hopes are a little higher that I might get the result I want in a sequel, I’m a bit confused and skeptical about where it’s all going to go for Nami, romance-wise. I wasn’t Gil’s biggest fan and a lot of their development seemed to jump in either moments off-screen or emotional changes we weren’t privy to. I’ll admit I voted more for the prince of Victory, the star-crossed lovers plot rather than the enemies-to-lovers, although Caelan and Nami are a bit of both really. If the sequel comes back and makes those two a thing, I’ll be one million percent on board. It’s complicated beyond belief but what a turnaround that would be, plus the conversations between those two had a deeper undercurrent of authenticity.
“I see him in the crowd, with his white furs and silver crown. He looks so starkly out of place beside the rest of them, and not because of his finery. It’s the expression he wears.
He’s a piece that doesn’t belong.
Just like me.“
This story has such great bones. There are just gaps that need to be filled in. I love the world of Infinity that the author has created. Although haunting in its realization with the corruption from war, the glimpses she’s given into it and the possibilities that could spring from it are fascinating. I simply wish there had been more detail. Convenient plot insertions were made to allow for quick world-building where it would’ve been nice to have the details filled in by Nami experiencing the world herself, not just through the Exchange (where she sees someone else’s memories), or others simply telling her, which cheapened the experience for us as readers. Once Nami got the information downloaded we were later told second-hand what she knew but it felt less exciting than her describing it, like the times she was at the palace and festivals. Those were honestly the best parts of the book. I think that’s why Caelan and her interactions with him are my favorite, because they were some of the most vividly described. I will say though, even with this book being on the longer side, it never felt long. I was thoroughly entertained throughout. And while characterization is usually the most important thing to me in a book, this time I wasn’t bothered by not knowing all the side characters perfectly. I was so engrossed in Nami’s journey that the narratives of the other characters weren’t so important. They played a part in driving Nami forward but their journeys weren’t a focal point of the story and for once I actually liked not having other characters to focus on as much.
Now, the ending did throw me a bit. After everything that happened it would’ve been nice to have a little more of a resolution, even given the spectacular twist. I was left scratching my head a whole lot there at the end, wishing for at least one glimpse of an opening for possible reconciliation. Of course I know this is going to be a series but I felt like the ending was rushed in comparison to the slow calculation of the rest of the book. I’m hoping as it goes into the next book there will be a clearer understanding of what exactly happened and all hope isn’t lost for the characters involved. *Major Spoilers* I really wanted Caelan at the last moment to say “not everything was a lie” to Nami. Maybe the author is planning it in the next book. Please, please please let that be the case because to me it’ll be weird if Nami goes on to be with someone else, or even Gil when it was Caelan she actually fell for. I just don’t want it to be that the Reaper wipes his memory and they become enemies now. That and him turning out to be a complete liar vs genuinely trying to protect her after he fell for her in the midst of doing what he thought was right. *Major Spoilers*
Overall, a surprising and enjoyable read. I’m impressed that this is the author’s first foray into fantasy because it’s quite original and well done. While I’d love to explore more of the “magic” of Infinity, the landscapes and even the courts, my biggest hope is for the puzzle pieces to come together and for my favorite characters, Caelan and Nami, to move towards some semblance of happiness but it’s only the beginning so we’ll see where it goes. Also, that cover is gorgeous.
– I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book I received for free through Netgalley from Simon and Schuster Children’s Publishing. All thoughts and opinions are my own. –
Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy
Author: Akemi Dawn Bowman
Synopsis:
Eighteen-year-old Nami Miyamoto is certain her life is just beginning. She has a great family, just graduated high school, and is on her way to a party where her entire class is waiting for her—including, most importantly, the boy she’s been in love with for years.
The only problem? She’s murdered before she gets there.
When Nami wakes up, she learns she’s in a place called Infinity, where human consciousness goes when physical bodies die. She quickly discovers that Ophelia, a virtual assistant widely used by humans on Earth, has taken over the afterlife and is now posing as a queen, forcing humans into servitude the way she’d been forced to serve in the real world. Even worse, Ophelia is inching closer and closer to accomplishing her grand plans of eradicating human existence once and for all.
As Nami works with a team of rebels to bring down Ophelia and save the humans under her imprisonment, she is forced to reckon with her past, her future, and what it is that truly makes us human.
Babbling Books 